We had just gotten ready to resume life as “normal”,when once again the pause button was pushed on life here in Kathmandu. Thankfully, our family was together this time, and the Lord once more protected us.
Yesterday it seemed people were at a loss with what to do, whether to go to work or stay close to home.
And to be honest my nerves were just about shot, and I caught myself responding in anger and frustration more than in kindness and love.
The what if’s are difficult. Each time I venture upstairs, I wonder what if another strikes. Each time the kids want to get something from their room, I think what if….
These are deadly words to dwell upon, “If only” and “what if”.
Yet, the reality is it is hard to move forward. Hard to let go of fear.
It seems that these earthquakes have not only shook the nation of Nepal. They have also shaken the faith of many, and shown the cracks in my own relationship with the Lord.
Recently I read of a man who is a believer, yet who is wondering where God is, in all of this.
I think many feel this way.
Personally, it is the cracks God has used the earthquakes to show me.
Cracks in my walk with Him, cracks in my relationship with my husband and kids.
Yet, He has also used the earthquakes to show me He is bigger. That He is stronger.
I have learned that He is ever faithful, as He has twice now protected our family and our home.
So how do we live “post earthquake,” here in Nepal.
I’m learning that it means taking baby steps each day. Seeking to let go of fear and trust that God is bigger.
To be honest after the second one hit, my first thought was, “Lord, I want to go home, enough of this!”
Yet, as I read Isaiah 6:8 today in my quiet time, I was reminded of my prayer before coming here.
“Here I am, send me!(Is. 6:8)”
I know that though it is difficult, though it is frightening, though it is just hard to be here right now.
That God has us here for such a time as this.
He knew when we came, this would happen.
And all I can do now is hold fast to Him and rest in Him. Clinging to Him for His perfect peace, and trusting that the same God who has now delivered us twice from major earthquakes, will deliver us in the days ahead.
Blessings from Nepal
“The Lord will give strength to His people;
the Lord will bless His people with peace.” Psalm 30: 11