I had my first meltdown today since the earthquake, it seems all the emotions have been bottled up inside, brewing over the past few days, and today I was able to release it all. Of course it would happen while I’m in the store talking to some friends. (A little embarrassing for sure :-)) But the truth is, most of the Nepali people and those serving here (myself included) are dealing with fear. Since the earthquake happened, this verse has been going through my mind:
“God is our refuge and strength. A very present help in trouble, THEREFORE WE WILL NOT FEAR… though the earth should change, and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea. Though its waters roar and foam. Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride…..There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God!” Psalm 46:1-4
Therefore, we will not fear… even if all these bad things happen… we won’t be afraid. Why? Because God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble!
Right after the earthquake I was in shock, adrenaline shot through me, and it was all about keeping the kids calm and safe. But now it has been three days and quite honestly the fear of aftershocks or another big earthquake are scarier than the initial earthquake, which was far from expected.
So how do the people here, go back to living? How do we deal with the fear of the unknown?
The past three nights, our family has camped outside because it was unsafe to stay in the homes. But yesterday the government issued an ok for people to go back to their homes and stay on the first floor. So last night, our family (myself reluctantly) made our way back inside and camped out by the door on the floor. But to be honest, I felt safer sleeping outside. Even after everyone was asleep, I just laid there, praying and reading my Bible.
As I laid there, a friend sent me a text, “Behold, He who keeps Israel will neither slumber not sleep. The Lord is your keeper, the Lord is your shade on your right hand. (Psalm 121:4,5)
And as I read through the Psalms, the Lord brought me to Psalm 4:8, “In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for you alone O Lord, make me to dwell in safety.”
“What a blessing it was to reflect on the fact that my God neither slumbers nor sleeps. What a blessing to know my God hears me when I pray. What a joy to know that my God truly has the whole world in His hands.
The reality is we never have reason to fear, because our God is our refuge,He is our strength in the storms, and the hardest of times. He isn’t surprised when bad things happen. He is never taken off guard. And though we must sleep, He never sleeps. He is always watching over us, His children.
Eventually, I drifted off to sleep, and woke this morning to birds singing and sun shining through the windows. My God did indeed make me to dwell in safety last night.
Today, we were able to get to the grocery and stock up on food. Today, the Lord blessed me through the kindness of others. Today, God allowed me to be a blessing to others in need. Today, my God reigns!
So though fear is real, and Satan would have us remain trapped in fear.
I take comfort in the promises of God’s Word. I take joy in the fact that my God is greater, my God is bigger than anything this world throws my way.