You have to understand the roads here are small and as we wound our way up, I was sitting on the outer side of the car, closest to the drop off. If it were possible I think I might have climbed in my husbands lap.
I tried closing my eyes, I tried praying, but nothing seemed to help. With my eyes closed, I felt like I was on a roller coaster and you must know I hate roller coasters
But, finally we made it. We reached the church and made our way inside. I was so glad to be out of the car.
As the Pastor opened his Bible, he turned to Isaiah 6. One of my most favorite passages.
And as he shared, I looked around the room, and I felt much like Isaiah must have felt when he saw himself in the presence of the Lord.
I felt undone. I felt unworthy. I felt like a fraud.
Here, I’m suppose to be the brave young missionary girl.
Yet, I had fought against fear all the way to church. And sadly to say, fear had won.
As I listened to these people who have so little lift their voices in praise and worship. All I could do was bow my head and pray.
Praying and asking the Lord to forgive my fear, my doubt and my lack of trust in Him.
In God’s presence we will always be made aware of sin, and we will always feel undone!
I love the fact that Isaiah was a prophet/preacher.
Yet, even as a preacher/prophet, when alone in the presence of God, all he was, was undone!
I take comfort in this. For though I have surrendered to missions. Though I have moved with my family to literally the other side of the world.I still struggle each and every day.
I still sin and deal with fear, pride, anger, frustration….. and the list goes on.
The Lord is well aware of the fact that we are merely dust.
And though we are righteous in His eyes, the work He is doing in our very lives, will keep on keeping on until we get to glory.
For He who began a good work in us, will be faithful to complete it!!!
The view from the top of the mountain was spectacular.
The service was a blessing.
Yet, it took going up the mountain in order to experience it.
Had we stayed in the valley, I would have been able to avoid the fight with fear.
But I would have missed out on the glory of the Lord
God is not pleased with complacent.
He isn’t moved by our apathy.
The Lord longs and desires for us to see ourselves through His eyes.
To come into His presence, so that we will walk away changed. With a heart full of worship and a longing to obey Him no matter what.
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”