1 Corinthians 1:9
Have you ever just had a bad week, I mean a really rotten week? Well, that could basically sum up this past week for me. It seems that constantly the Lord was saying no and closing doors and to be honest I got quite upset. The enemy played havoc with my emotions and fought to fill my mind with lies and got me to doubt the Lord. I’m ashamed to say for the most part he won. Though I knew the truth in my head, my heart failed to line up and I basically just wanted to lay down my cross and quit. Not a very flattering time nor a time I am proud of, but God….
After I’d had my pity parties and after I quit being mad at God for not giving me what I thought I deserved, the Lord who is faithful drew me to Himself, lavished His love on me and drew me closer than before.
Sometimes it takes going to the pit before we can see how great and awesome a God we serve. This past weekend the Lord in His kindness convicted my heart of the jealousy, the pride, the anger, the doubt and the fear I had been carrying around. In His great mercy, He helped me lay these down and when I did He poured out His love. He spoke to my heart and gave me peace like never before. He opened my eyes to see that His ways and His thoughts truly are better than my own and that He has our future planned and that I can trust Him.
For those of you who don’t know, at the present time our family of 5 is living with my parents. We have been here about 3 months and though we are grateful for this home and time with family, living in the unknown and waiting on God to reveal what He has for us next is not easy or fun. There have been other times when I have wanted to quit, when I have been filled with fear and doubt and just like recently the Lord faithfully carried me through. Last week, as I cried out to the Lord, I told Him how hard it was for me to believe, I told Him I just couldn’t take much more and that He was going to have to carry me through and prayed regularly that He would help my unbelief and you know what? He did! He faithfully carried me when I could not go on, He spoke His Word over my heart when my flesh raged against our situation and He indeed helped my unbelief by speaking plainly to my heart that not only does He know where we are and what we need, He is at work even now orchestrating the events, times and places that He has prepared since the foundation of the world. He has spoken clearly that I can trust Him.
I can honestly say that though I’m glad this week is over and believe me I’m not so naive that I don’t think these times won’t come again. I’m thankful for these low times, times when God who is always faithful shows up and teaches my heart great truths. I don’t know where you are or what you are going through, but I do know that He is faithful and even if you don’t think you can go on, reach out to Him and He can and will carry you through.